Matters of the heart

Written by on February 10, 2019

AUNT PAULINE answers all questions to do with marriage, culture and life. Drop your questions online or whatsapp 0963867719 or email

Dear Aunt,

QUESTION: Is it right to send Lobola using ZOONA?A

ANSWER: According to our tradition. Lobola is supposed to be taken to the bride’s parents by bashibukombe so sending Lobola via Zoona will be disrespectful to the in-laws.

QUESTION: Can you forgive someone you do not love? My boyfriend has been cheating on me and unfortunately, I do not love him. Can I leave him?

ANSWER: In the first place, you do not love him. There is no real love between the two of you, stop deceiving yourself.

QUESTION: My husband gives his mother the whole salary to his mother who does the shopping for us. He never gives me money, I struggle on my own. Am tired, I want to leave him.

ANSWER: Are you sure you are married to this man? I think you should sit your husband down and discuss  your marriage so that you find the way forward.

QUESTION: I have been married for two years and my husband has been having an extra marital affair. Am hurt that I have tried every possible way to forgive him but I have failed. I feel like killing him.

ANSWER: I think in this case, talk to your husband and tell him you do not like the things he does. Killing is not a solution, you will just end up being jailed and will make your children suffer.

QUESTION: My sister’s husband is having an affair with one of the women I know. I discovered this a long time but do not know how to break the news to my sister? How should I tell her?

ANSWER: I think it is better you sit down with him and talk. Ask him why he is doing that before you tell your sister. You will eventually have to talk to your sister.

NB: Please text your concerns. Do not call at awkward hours such as after 23:00 hours.

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